If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
