something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
