let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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