I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
