Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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