I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
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