i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
