Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
