I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
