Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Vodka?
Forever.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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