Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
