Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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