You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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