Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
