he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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