i don't like sucking hair
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
