$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
