so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
