Only a mothe r could love this liver
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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