Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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