i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think your dad took our porno
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
