so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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