I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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