I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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