I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
