I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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