dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
