i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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