i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
