$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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