I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Its about making memories worth repressing
only if we run a train.
done.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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