well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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