Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
