I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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