The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
