i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
