this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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