if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
