I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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