YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
