i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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