are you still at the devil's house?
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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