So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Randomize
