There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
