The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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