The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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