Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Acid is not a monday night drug
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
