ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
