theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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