id be glad to
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
