Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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