I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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