so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
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Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
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Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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