no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize