found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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