My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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