Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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