on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
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