WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize