and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
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He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
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tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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