I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
