I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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