Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
