Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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