god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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