It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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