what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
