that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
